Perfect Ending

Some of you know that the last few weeks have been hard for Scott and I. I won't go into detail, but it was definately a dark couple of weeks. But, the greatest thing about all that is, this week was also such a great week as well! God is so GREAT! :)

This week started off with no grooming work for me, which we desperately needed! But, as God seems to work, last Sunday night I got a call for an appointment. I booked them that Monday. Then from that day on, I got calls almost everyday and was able to book myself full of grooming for everyday this past week, and into the this week! I'm always so amazed at how that happens. The thing for me this time, that I really believed before it happened, was that God would take care of us and that I didn't need to worry about no apopintments. Sure enough, God did take care of us! I know (head knowledge wise) that He will always take care of us. But to fully believe, understand it, and experience it is a whole other thing! It's such an awesome experience to fully trust in the Lord and put all you have in Him. So, as bad as the weeks have been lately, I can honestly say they were great as well! Isn't that just so awesome?!

Well, to carry on this Praise to God, I had a doctors' appointment on Friday morning. I'm 11 weeks right now and this was the apointment to hear the heartbeat. To refresh, I miscarried right around 12 weeks, so this was a VERY important, and nerve-racking, appointment! Anyway, I had my MIL come with me as moral support b/c Scott was at Store Manager Training in Chandler all week and could not get out of it. I needed to have someone there with me to either celebrate, or to cry with. Well, thankfully, we celebrated!!!!! :) It took some time for the Dr. to find the heartbeat, but once she did, it was so loud and clear you couldn't mistake it for anything else! It was such an awesome sound! I've always loved that first time that you hear the heartbeat, but after you have had a miscarriage, it's almost like hearing it for the very first time (no matter how many kids you already have)! Of course, my Dr. says (as soon as she hears the heartbeat) "Good news, you have a baby there. Bad news, it's another girl." Now hold on, we don't know that for sure! See, my FIL says we are having a boy. He has been able to guess every grandchild and has not been wrong yet! We won't know for sure until about 20 weeks. The Dr. was saying that based off how fast the heartbeat was. The theory is, the faster the heartbeat it's a girl, the slower one is a boy. Well, this one was beating in the 150's, so that is why she said that. I didn't say this to her at the time, but after she said that, I remember her saying that T was a boy. Well, T maybe a tomboy, but she is all girl as well. So, needless to say, we will see at 20 weeks whether papa is right or if the Dr. is right. My money (and my hope) is on Papa, but at the same time, I'm not going to be picky! :)

Last but not least, my wonderful hubby ended the weekend (well, almost since it was on Saturday) with replacing our kitchen faucet! For those of you who have been at my house for some extention of a stay know that my kitchen faucet was HORRIBLE!!!! First, you had to pretty much push the handle up to a high flow of water b/c if you didn't it would fall down and shut off. Well, if you pushed it all the way up, then it screamed this high pitched squeal at you the ENTIRE time you ran the water! It was aweful! We bought a new faucet a couple weeks ago, but between lack of time, no plumbers putty/tape, laziness and procrastination, it took him until Saturday to put it in. Well, it's in! It looks lovely, much better than the last one! It works great! And best of all, it doesn't scream at you when you turn on the water! It was a great way to end the weekend! :) The pictures are of the new faucet by the way. Isn't nice?

Well, that's about all I know. I hope that all of you had a great week and saw God moved in your lives one way or another. I hope you all have a great week this next week as well! Love you all! :)

Something New

Well, I am going to start going back to work part time in 4 weeks from now. I have mixed feelings about this, but I think the good outweighs the bad. I will be grooming 2 days a week at my Veterinarian's office. I absolutely LOVE this vet and all the people that work there, so that makes going back to work ALOT easier! I also will be the only groomer, so I'm not having to worry about working (or even managing) in another shop with a ton of other women! :) Don't get me wrong, the vets' office is pretty much all women (there are a few men-2 of which are Doctors), but groomers are a rare and different breed altogether! That being said, I'm now starting to really look forward to getting out of the house and around adults 2 days out of the week.

I had to post these pictures though, b/c before I got the job I went over there a couple times to groom fro them so they could see how I work, how I groom, and how I deal with customers. Needless to say that all went well! LOL Anyway, one of the days that I was there I had to groom a Portuguese Water Dog. (This is the same breed of dog that our president owns now) These dogs are pretty difficult to do. More so b/c they have a specific cut, and b/c most owners of this breed of dog don't let just ANYONE groom their dog! So, when I find out that I had to groom one, I freaked out a little. I have NEVER groomed one of these dogs! So, the night before, I did my research online and thru the book that I had on grooming all the dog breeds. I went in the next day very prepared, nervous, but also a little excited as well! Well, all went well! The dog came in with the pattern already clipped in (she just hadn't been groomed in a few months), so I just had to follow the pattern pretty much. But, I did have to trim up the top of the head and everywhere that I had looked the night before really didn't say much about the head. Other than, trim just a little, don't let there be a distinction between the top of the head and where the ears start, and that the head still needs to be longer than the body! That is some direction, but when you get a dog with a "mop" on it's head, and an owner that grooms and shows her dogs, needless to say I was concerned I would do it wrong! Thankfully, when I brought the dog out to her "mom", she was THRILLED!!! She said I did a GREAT job on the head, and that the poofy hair on her body I trimmed up VERY nicely. She said she was impressed and happy with what I had done! Whew! :) I was so excited to get those comments. I had a great time grooming her and enjoyed the challenge, so I was really glad to get that feedback at the end!

So, I know that this isn't an exciting entry for most, but I just had to share my excitement! :) I start as a groomer at All-Star Animal Hospital on August 3rd, so for those of you in the area, please get the word out to those you know and send some business my way! :) I'm looking forward to getting the chance to groom some breeds that I haven't done ever, and some that I haven't done in awhile (since being at PetsMart). I hope that this will prove to be a productive business adventure on both my part and the vets'. I sure hope that I earn some good money too, as that was the major motive behind wanting to work these days as well! Oh yeah, the pictures at the top are before and after pictures of the dog. The pictures on the left are before and afters of the body (the before is on the top). The pictures on the right are the before and afters of the head (the before is on the top). The pictures are hard to tell, but trust me, there is a definite difference, especially in the head! :)

I am...

Okay, so I've been meaning to put this on here for awhile, but I never seem to have enough time to sit down at the computer uninterupted for any amount of time. Today seems to be one of those days, so I'm taking advantage of it! ;o) This next entry is something I got from one of the ladies in my Bible Study. She actually got it from a friend of a friend on their blog. I loved it so much, I just had to share it. It will forever be on my mirror so I can look at it every day, many times a day. Here is goes:

I'm a part of the fellowship of the unashamed. The die has been cast. I have stepped over the line. The decision has been made. I'm a disciple of His and I won't look back, let up, slow down, back away, or be still. My past is redeemed. My present makes sense. My furture is secure. I'm done and finished with low living, sight walking, small planning, smooth knees, colorless dreams, tamed visions, mundane talking, cheap living, and dwarfed goals. I no longer need preeminence, prosperity, position, promotions, plaudits, or popularity. I don't have to be right, or first, or tops, or recognized, or praised, or rewarded. I live by faith, lean on His presence, walk by patience, lift by prayer, and labor by Holy Spirit power. My face is set. My gait is fast. My goal is heaven. My road may be narrow, my way rough, my companions few, but my guide is reliable and my mission is clear. I will not be bought, compromised, detoured lured away, turned back, deluded or delayed. I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice or hesitate in the presence of the adversary. I will not negotiate at the table of the enemy, ponder at the pool of popularity, or meaner in the maze of mediacrity. I won't give up, shut up, or let up unitl I have stayed up, stored up, prayed up, paid up, and preached up for the cause of Christ. I am a disciple of Jesus, I must give until I drop, preach until all know, and work until He comes. And when He does come for His own, He will have no trouble recognizing me because my banner will have been clear.

Sping Cleaning

Hello there! It's been awhile since I have written, but there has been much going on in my life since then. Since my latest blog, I'm please to announce that I am doing well. God definately met me in that place of sorrow and I'm truely thankful for that. There were lessons I definatley needed to learn, and as hard of a situation that was to go thru, I'm truely thankful that I did. I will say, though, as my would have been due date gets closer, the sadness creeps in a little more, but I know that thru God I can get through anything!

Okay, now that my update is done, I had to show you some of the things that I have been doing since that last entry. As most of you know, I'm not a huge cleaner, but every now and then, I get an urge to clean everything so thoroughly! So, that is what I have been doing. I started with the laundry room (which has been a mess since we moved in 3 years ago)! You can now see my dryer completely and you can see the shelve that is above the washer and dryer. It's amazing! ;) I then moved to my linen closet, which was starting to become so bad you could hardly open the door without something falling out. Now that looks so much better, but b/c it looks so nice, I have a hard time wanting to go in there and take stuff out b/c I'm afraid that I will make it all dirty again! LOL Crazy thought process, I know, but I can't help it. Anyway, the last things that I have been doing have taken awhile to accomplish just b/c I really couldn't get them done all in one day so they were spread out over weeks of time. First, the girls got a bunk bed. We bought it red, though (b/c it was a smoking deal), and since red isn't really anywhere in the girls' room, I had to paint it white. That was interesting and I will probably not ever do it again! But, it looks decent enough, and thanks to their Grandma and Grandpa, both of them got new bedspreads and such for their birthdays. To finish off their room, I put a bunch of Tatouge stuff on their walls. My friend used to sell this stuff and so she had a ton at her house that she just gave to me to use. I'm so thankful to her for that b/c without it, the rooms that I did would still not be done and after 3 years of living here, I was itching to have them completed! Anyway, this Tatouge stuff is like a rub on transfer to the wall. It's paint, though, so it doesn't peal off once it's on the wall. It will scratch just like paint and the only way to get rid of it is to paint over it. Everyone that looks at this stuff asks if I hand painted it. I WISH!!!! But, no I did not. So, that gives you an idea of how good this stuff looks. When I finished the girls bedroom, I moved to the nursery/play room. To make a long story a little shorter, I basically made the room look like a white picket fenced garden room. It's not too girly, though, (I don't think) and it basically makes looks like you are outside when you walk into the room. It turned out so much better than I imagined, I just love this room! The last thing I have just completed last week was putting this Tatouge stuff in the girls' bathroom. Their bathroom is themed with salt water fish, so that is what I put on the walls. My favorite part of the room is when you look in the mirror, towards the back wall of the shower. With the shower curtain closed, it looks like the fish are swimming off the shower curtain and onto the wall. It's very cool.

So, that is what I have been up to these past few months. I have more pictures then I posted here on my facebook account. You should check them out b/c I have a progression of the nursery/play room so you can see if from start to finish. It's pretty cool. Until next time. ;o)

Grieving and Healing

It's funny how my last entry was titled "Saying Goodbye" b/c that seems fitting for this entry as well. Anyway, some of you know, but I feel like I need to write a little about this b/c I need to get my feelings out, so here it goes. Last week, I had a miscarriage. This is EXTREMELY devastating and I don't wish this on anyone! I know some of you have been thru this, and before now, I never knew what to say. Now knowing what you went thru, I'm soooo sorry and I wish that I could have been more of a support for you. I also am sorry for any of the ignorant things that I may have said b/c of not knowing what you were going thru. Not to be mean, but those people that have no idea what this is like don't need to really say anything (except maybe "I'm sorry."). I haven't had a ton of people say this, but I really hate hearing "Don't worry, you can just have another one" or "Well, at least you have 2 kids already". These statements are true, but really not the point at this time! I know that everyone means well, but to me at least, these statements just hurt more. I know that I was only 12 weeks and so the baby wasn't even big enough for me to feel yet, but I already "felt" that baby and loved that baby, and really already was holding and playing and looking at the baby (in my dreams). I'm grieving a loss of a child and having 2 already and having the option of having more doesn't really play into this equation at this time.

I also opted to have a D & C done as well. I've talked to some of you and some have had it, some have done it naturally, and some have done both. At first, I thought about just letting my body pass it naturally b/c I really didn't want to spend the money (nor did I really want to have a surgery), but later on that day that I found out, I decided on just getting the physical part of the healing process done and over with. As I just said above, I heard all sides of this option from my friends and family that have gone thru this. Most were on the side of the D & C, but the stories were enough to worry me a bit. But, I still went thru it. I will say one thing, on a positive note, the drugs they give you to knock you out really are the "good stuff" (as my MIL says)! :) Anyway, according to my doctor, it was a really good decision that I made to have the surgery when I did b/c if I tried to do it on my own, I would have surely ended up in the hospital. So, I guess in the long run, it was the right thing. So far, physically, I'm healing well. I really haven't had bad cramping or any of the other unpleasant things that go along with the recovery. Emotionally, though, well that's another story.

It's ironic b/c this all started to show last Sunday. At church that day, we had a special guest speaker that was talking about loss and the grieving and healing process. Truly, until now, I really couldn't fully understand what he was talking about b/c I have never lost something (besides my animals - which don't get me wrong I'm close with my animals and am very said when I've lost the ones I have) so dear to me. Without going into detail, he and his wife lost there son a year ago and his sermon circled around that the whole time. Anyway, so I get home and I notice that this is happening and now it's all a little too ironic and weird for me. In his sermon, he talked about how he was upset and even though he knew there was a reason, and that God loved him and was there for him, he still had a hard time praying b/c he was upset, sad, confused, etc... While I appreciated the real emotion and can understand (to a point) where he was coming from, I still didn't really know where he was coming from. Well, now I can honestly say that I do. I truly don't know what to say to God. I don't really want to pray b/c I'm upset. I know that God has a reason for why this happened. I know that He loves me and that things will work out. I know these things, but my heart hurts and really doesn't know what to say. I guess that only thing that I know is good is that God still loves me and He is there for me, even when I don't know what to say and even when I'm upset and hurting! God is GREAT and I do LOVE Him! I just have so many questions...

So, as you can see, I'm struggling. But, I don't presume that to end anytime soon. I know that over time, it will get easier, but I'm not rushing it. I will say though, that I had a step in the healing direction today. I had dogs to groom today for the first time since this happened. I have been cooped up in the house for this whole last week (on my accord) so to have people come over and for me to get back into my normal routine for awhile was really nice. I really love to groom, and today I really felt that. I was relaxed and encouraged today by that milestone. I know it sounds silly, but for me, animals are such a big part of my life, and I swear by their healing powers that they have. As little and silly as it may be to some people, though, it was still a great step in the right direction. Along with the grooming this morning, this (me writing this), is also great step in healing for me. I haven't talked to many people outside my little circle. I did, however, talk to a friend the other day that I actually was able to encourage b/c she had been thru the EXACT same thing and didn't have as many answers as I already did from my doctor. That made me feel good that even when I feel awful, I was able to help someone else. That is why I decided to post my feelings about what I'm going thru. I know that I'm not the only one that is, or has, gone thru this. But, I didn't really know how many people I knew that had been thru this until I said something. I hope that thru my grieve and healing that I may be able to at least be there to help someone else, even if just to let them know that they are not alone and what they are feeling isn't wrong. Thanks for listening/reading and thank you for the prayers and thoughts. I love you all.

Goodbye my little one. I love you so much.......

Saying Goodbye

Last night was an interesting night. S, the girls, and I went to celebrate the final Summit service last night. For those of you who don't know, The Summit was the church S and I went to before we came to the church we are at now. When we left The Summit, we knew it was the right time for us and there were some negative things going on then that we didn't want to be a part of anymore. It was hard to leave some of our friends behind, but we knew what God was wanting us to do. Actually, to be completely honest, we went back to visit one time (after we left) b/c someone came back to visit, and it was awful! I felt so out of place, uncomfortable, and just knew that we had made the right decision. Well, about a month ago, the news came down that The Summit decided to disband honorably. Of course, there was some turmoil with all of this, so they decided it would be good to invite everyone that has ever been to The Summit to come back and celebrate what The Summit meant for them. When I heard about this, part of me was sad to hear that it went down like that, but the other part of me felt like this was going to happen. I know that sounds mean, but I'm just being honest. Anyway, S and I decided that we would go b/c it would be good to see everyone again.

Well, last night was the night. Heath Bottomly came back and lead worship, which was wonderful. It truly felt like the beginning times of The Summit. It started to bring back such great memories of S and I dating, my SIL and BIL going to church with us, and the friendships and "family" that we had made there. Of course, this was a service of sharing, so tons of people got up and shared what The Summit meant to them. At first, people talked about the funny stuff, but then started in some of the great memories that would make you sad b/c they aren't there anymore. :( That was the hard, and surprising, part of the night for me. Like I said earlier, I knew that we were to leave The Summit, and I haven't looked back since, but after hearing Heath play and sing, and some of my friends get up and talk about the things that meant so much to them, I actually cried. I was actually crying tears of sadness. Even S was surprised at my reaction. It was definitely a weird night, but such a great night at the same time.

It's sad to see that The Summit no longer is in existence as a church building, but I must say, The Summit lives in all of us who went there. All of us have some good memories and some great stories to tell. God was moving in The Summit at one point and now it is our job to continue moving where God wants us to go. The Summit will live on in all of our hearts, and I just pray that the good part of The Summit (the part of building relationships and lasting family-like friendships) continues to move forward into other churches. I can tell you that is something I realized I feel is missing at my church now. Don't get me wrong, I love our church, but last night made me realize that even thru the bad, we really had some great friends and relationships at The Summit. Part of me feels that we are not quite there with that at Westgate. I know that some, if not most, of that has to do with me, so that is what I'm praying God works on me with.

Well, I just lost all thought in my head now, so I better get going. I actually need to get ready to go b/c I'm taking Diesel up to Dewey, AZ today with my best friend and her dogs to go herding some sheep! Diesel loves it and I'm so excited! :) So, I best be getting everything ready for that. If some of you reading have ever gone to The Summit and you wish to share your experiences, I would love to hear them. :)

Dr. Appointment

So, we had our second Dr.'s appointment today. As most of you know, the first few are nothing really, but this one was exciting b/c we got to hear the heartbeat for the first time! :) At first, my doctor had a hard time finding it, but finally she did and we were able to hear it loud and clear! That was just music to my ears b/c I was starting to get a little nervous. She also said (which she has never said before) that she thinks that it may be a boy this time. I know that is all depends on who you talk to b/c some say a fast heartbeat is a boy and some say a slow one is, but S and I don't care! S, especially, is holding on to that thought until we know for sure (which should be sometime in January). Of course, S's dad swears it's going to be a girl (and he has not been wrong yet-with 7 grandchildren so far) so we will all have to wait and see! :) So, that's the update so far. I'm 10 weeks and 4 days, so almost out of the first trimester! :) YEAH!!!! This pregnacy seems to take forever this time! LOL :)